The proper procedure for driving in a storm when traffic lights are out

I am getting really frustrated here, people. When the traffic lights are out during a storm, you first of all are required by law to STOP. Yes, you must stop at the traffic light. Just because the light is out does not mean you get to blow through the intersection. A dark traffic light does not in any way translate to "green." That said, the next thing you must do is wait. TWO LANES OF TRAFFIC DO NOT GO AT ONCE! Hello? What is wrong with people out here? It goes around to the right. The lanes to your right go, then the lanes to the right of them go, then the lanes to the right of them go and THEN YOU GET TO GO. ONE DIRECTION OF TRAFFIC AT A TIME GETS TO GO, and the right of way goes according to THE RIGHT. That would be counter-clockwise for you idiot Arizonans. No wonder I pay so damn much for auto insurance here!

I got my picture taken at 40th Street and Bell!

How many times do I have to do this? This is my second ticket at that intersection since I've lived in the fabulous (lol) 85032 neighborhood in six years. Why? Not because I am a red-light runner, because I am not. I never gun it when the light turns yellow because I have lived here too long and I know that's a sure way to die or incur minor-to-major injuries because of other idiots who habitually run red lights. And considering how many people don't have auto insurance, I don't want to play that game.

I was driving to work Friday night, going 45 and hit the intersection as the light turned yellow. It turned red immediately, not even giving me a chance to clear the intersection and the flashbulbs went off. I know I do not deserve the ticket that will surely arrive soon in the mail. I was going too fast to stop right then and there because I was literally AT the intersection going 45 mph. There were no cars in front of me and at any other light I would have had plenty of time to clear that intersection. What I am saying here is that the intersection is rigged to give out tickets so the city makes money. Which I refuse to let happen. I plan to fight the ticket the best way I know how.

I am told you find out when your court date is, then reschedule it on a day your officer can't make it to court, and you're free. I am not spending 4 hours and $175 on traffic school. I can't afford the money or the time as a freelance writer and disc jockey, I work almost 7 days a week. Time is at a premium in my life. But more than that, it is the principle of me not even deserving that ticket. If I ran it, I wouldn't fight it. But I didn't run a red light! I was crossing an intersection as the light turned yellow and then red about two whole seconds later. That should not cost me $175. It's rigged. I am going to fight back and I am going to enjoy every minute of it.

Two words I never thought I'd say:

Go Cardinals! I know how weird that sounds from someone who has lived here a total of 16 years and remains a Raider fan, but I think I caught the fever that is running rampant this weekend throughout the Valley. Between the fabulous new stadium and the hot team as well as the win against the Steelers yesterday, everyone is suddenly a Cardinals fan. Everywhere I went yesterday, people were talking about the Cardinals! Did that quarterback ever get signed?

Metro Bus alert!

This is so funny! I meant to blog a week ago about seeing a broken-down Metro bus at 12th Street and Bethany Home Rd. after midnight last Saturday night, but I forgot. You know how I love to make fun of the omnipresent broken-down Metro buses! I was reminded of the bus last night at 16th Street and Bethany Home Rd. again after midnight when another broken-down Metro bus was being towed from there! Why can’t Valley Metro keep their buses running and is the Central corridor of Bethany Home Rd. where they go to die? Is Bethany Home Rd. really that bad of a place? It is turning into a Valley Metro graveyard every Saturday night!

Metro Bus alert! +

Booing Barry Bonds is great fun!

The staff of 98-7 The Peak enjoyed the company suite last night at Chase Field. It's been a long time since I've been to a Giants game either here or in SF, and let me tell you something, D-backs fans are a quiet bunch any and every game. They aren't like Mets fans, they aren't like Giants fans, they are just not like traditional baseball fans. They are quiet, they show up late to the games, and I just have always attributed it to the fact that we aren't experienced baseball fans here. We didn't always have an MLB team, so Arizonans are still learning how to be proper baseball fans. I don't even think we have a real heckler yet. But last night walking away from the ballpark, I did enjoy a saxophonist on the street, which was very "city" for Phoenix.

Last night, the usually-quiet D-backs fans became rather vocal when Barry Bonds stepped up to the mound. That was the best part of the game -- everybody booing. It was this huge boo you had to be able to hear all the way to Alice Cooperstown. It seemed to work too, as Bonds and his squeaky girly voice didn't get a hit. The D-backs won and fans celebrated quietly.

It is 103 degrees in downtown Phoenix right now.

That website went down fast!

To recap Friday's activities, we found out serial shooter suspect Dale Hausner had a website. As you can see, you can no longer surf it. It was still up at 3pm Friday when I showed it to Steve Douglas here at the Peak, but it was down later in the evening when I was showing a friend. But I have posted his phone number here just for fun. Look below!

The serial shooter suspect's phone number and e-mail address

Oh yes, it's online! Dale Hausner has his phone number listed on his website as 602-299-6512. His e-mail is listed as hausnerboxer@aol.com. Spam him! Have fun! Screw the "innocent until proven guilty" stuff. Spare me. Every police chief in town has gone on CNN to say they are sure these two guys arrested today are definitely the right guys. And our community has been terrorized for a year. People died.

Serial shooter creepiness!

Apparently, serial shooter suspect Dale Hausner has quite a bit of experience "shooting people." He's a professional photographer. He even does weddings! I just heard through the grapevine about his website, so I went there and I see a friend in one of his photos. I am not naming names. That's just creepy and further proof that Phoenix really is the biggest small town ever. Here's the creepy vermin's website.

Mildly funny Ikeaisms

I really do love the Ikea we've got here. But only on weekdays, if you know what I mean. We're playing thier commercials on the Peak, and it cracks me up every time that the guy can't pronounce "Tempe." He says it "tempeh," which isn't a city at all but a fermented soy product I eat because I'm vegan.

This Ikea commercial is slightly funny. I'm only posting it because I'm sure you'll appreciate the striptease.

Well, this shouldn't be a surprise

But the Mandala Tea Room is closed until after Labor Day. So tragic. I'll be eating at Green Restaurant at Scottsdale and McKellips until the end of time anyway. Before you wonder why I'm still on the Mandala Tea Room mailing list despite the fact that I hate their food, let me reiterate that I did enjoy their tea. The place is good for beverages ONLY. Here's what came in the newsletter today:

"Mandala Tearoom's doors will be temporarily closed for the
remainder of the summer season.

No worries, the tearoom will re-open after the Labor Day
Holiday on Tuesday, September 5th - Renewed, Revived and
Better than Ever!

Thanks to all you who supported Mandala for the premier
weekend brunches. We are proud to be the only vegan organic
brunch spot in the valley and look forward to continued
success.

In the meantime, take advantage of these Mandala events:

Dr. Kären van der Veer's 11 Steps to Health Workshop.
Date: Sunday August, 6
Time: 3:30-5:30pm
Cost: $28 per person or $50 per couple
A foundational, motivational plan towards greater health.
11 crucial elements to increase physical, mental and
spiritual health based on a nutritional life support
program.

The Mandala Apothecary's organic beauty boutique and
healing spa will remain open for business during August
from 11am-7pm Tues-Sat.

The healing spa offers organic facials, 5 Element Massage,
Naturopathic Medicine, Nutritional Counseling, Acupuncture
and much more..."

Look, I'm hard core. I live here year-round. I wish the damn art galleries were open year-round...

Today's Urband Legend: Where Does Stevie Nicks Live?

So I throw it out on the air today knowing full well that Stevie Nicks lives in Paradise Valley somewhere...but where exactly does she live? The first caller says she lives at Arcadia and Camelback Road in the big brick house on the NW corner...which she knows because a friend of a friend of a friend delivered a motorcycle there. Yeah... Then some guy calls to say 32nd Street and Lincoln on a cul-de-sac in a valley there... OK. The next caller says Stevie lives in a gated community on Yucca Road off Lincoln Drive in Paradise Valley and the guard will never let me in. The next caller says she lives in Finisterre right across from the Campbell Soup estate. And on the legend goes... You know, I never hear of Stevie sightings around here. But I hear plenty about Jenna Jameson shopping at Fashion Square!